This Photo Hurts My Heart

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And it's not just because she attempts to wear an Aaron Rowand jersey, a player who was traded away by the White Sox, oh, four years ago. No, no — look closely. She's wearing a shirt that actually says "Rowadn." So this woman — let's call her Gail...so there's Gail, gazing off into the hot August night, probably thinking about how amazing it was to receive that Aaron Rowand jersey as gift since he was her favorite player at the time, only to have the White Sox organization and whomever was in charge of placing the order fail so spectacularly. But — that was still one of the greatest days of her life.

(PHOTO: Thanks to reader Scott.)

*****

And...rise and shine like a guppy in a fish tank on fire, turdcakes. It's Wednesday. There are many bagels to be eaten. And oranges. And cigarettes.