Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day.
•The NCAA is set to admit its first Canadian college, soon-to-be D-II Simon Fraser University. Honestly, we can't open the door to any old school from a third-world country, or next thing you know, NJIT will be Division I.
•The Titans will honor Steve McNair with a stick-on helmet decal, because they're already wearing a jersey patch honoring 50 years of the AFL. NFL regulations prohibit more than one patch. If NFL regulations prohibited more than one significant other, we wouldn't have this conflict.
•It was only a matter of time: odds are being set for the first player to garner a Twitter-related suspension. Someone check to see if Antonio Cromartie laid down a few hundy on himself.
•Hot off the heels of yesterday's Mark-Prior-done-for-the-millennium news, comes word that once and future Reds ace Edinson Volquez is gone for 12 months. The common thread: Dusty Baker. Somebody keep this man away from human arms.
It's Thursday. Today's the last day to tell your boss you need a three-day weekend.