As is customary when a player throws a fastball three feet behind a batter's back, umpires deliver a warning to both managers. Then they tap gloves and come out swinging! At least that's the way it should be.

This fantastic donnybrook took place between the Winnipeg Goldeneyes and the Fargo-Moorhead RedHawks on Monday. The backstory is a little confusing because both teams wear red and it involves Canada, but the gist is this. Goldeneye pitcher Ace Walker (who is also a Bond villain) threw his first pitch of the fourth inning behind a RedHawk batter. This was because third baseman Kevin West, who can be seen yelling at the dugout after the throw, had been hit in the head earlier in the game. The RedHawks' third base coach, who is also manager Doug Simunic, says he was trying to calm West down, when West's manager Tom Vaeth got in his face and allegedly bumped him. That's when the slapping started.

Amazingly, neither manager will be suspended, although they did receive fines. Simunic said in a radio interview the next day that he was simply defending himself and was not going to take any guff from an opponent. (He also gets heckled by Winnipeg fans during the interview, which makes it worth a listen.) Frankly, I think this is how all beanball wars should be settled. The umpire warning should actually be instructions to keep your hands up and fight clean.

If that doesn't work ... rock, paper, scissors.

RedHawks pitcher sparked brawl: West [Winnipeg Free Press]
Simunic: "I'm not going to take this, man" [In Forum]
Fargo-Moorhead manager in on-field brawl with Winnipeg coach [Star-Tribune]