Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day
• Bummer. Just as soon as it appeared Adam "Pacman" Jones was given another shot at redemption, the poopypantsed ninnies of the Winnipeg Blue Bombers decided they are not offering the former Cowboy/Titan/strip club enthusiast a contract. Blue Bombers coach Mike Kelly got all smug about it: "We will pursue athletes that we believe will contribute to our organization on and off the field."
• Once again, a former struggling ace pitcher proves that sometimes the best way to rejuvenate a season is just to get the hell out of Boston. Brad Penny made his Giant debut last night and shut down the WFC with ease.
• Roger Federer did his Roger Federer thing at the U.S. Open. Serena did her Serena thing. Venus did her Venus thing. Simon Greul did his Simon Greul thing.
• Oh, and it appears Green Bay linebacker Nick Barnett had sex with his wife last night using some new gadgetry:
And just to clarify for the Twitterverse....