Occasionally a sport comes along that truly defines its era. Fittingly, as Barack Obama prepares to invade the South with an army of homosexuals who will sodomize every Republican's children and pets, cornholing is suddenly all the rage.
My awareness of the sport known as "Cornhole" comes via a longtime reader of my personal blog named Mark, a former American soldier now living in Bulgaria. Mark is quite tuned in to all things gay — it was Mark who educated me on the "power bottom" phenomenon that became a minor internet meme after I posted something on Gawker about it — and he wanted to make me aware of this pulsating hot new "sport" when he learned that I was editing Deadspin today. He writes:
Have you ever cornholed anyone (or been cornholed)? I have been out of the USA for a while and I was shocked to learn that cornholing has become a team sport in Appalachia. And how amazing that Tennessee's über Republican first congressional district has become a hotbed of cornholing in the USA! Although I am in a committed relationship, as your good friend I am willing to cornhole you and let you cornhole me (but not in a vacant lot). It pleases me to no end that an underground sport (usually practiced behind prison walls and privately by gay men) has become so mainstream. Even women are into cornholing! Did you know there is an American Cornhole Association: http://www.playcornhole.org/join.shtml The first person I ever cornholed was a drunken U.S. Coast Guard... Please tell me about your own knowledge of this sport. Do you think that we will ever see cornholing at the Olympic games? Isn't cornholing sort of a metaphor for the U.S. tax code? Do cajuns cornhole? Practice makes perfect, baby!
So what exactly do participants in the sport of Cornhole do? Here's how the sport's official website describes it:
Cornhole or Corn Toss is similar to horseshoes except you use wooden boxes called cornhole platforms and corn bags instead of horseshoes and metal stakes. Contestants take turns pitching their corn bags at the cornhole platform until a contestant reaches the score of 21 points. A corn bag in the hole scores 3 points, while one on the platform scores 1 point.
So there you go! Contestants take turns placing their corn sacks, rather than oblong rods, into a cornhole. You're welcome.
And, as always, thanks for your amazing gay insight Mark.
UPDATE: Cornhole is apparently HUGE in Chicago!