This segment is called "The Learning Curve" where you, young blog proprietor, will get a link to your new site on Deadspin. Any and all questions you may have about being a successful blogger will (hopefully) be answered.
Not by me, though. Consider this a "Dear Abby" for blog publishers and, you, proud, angry, often cruel commentariat should provide your helpful tips on success.
Now, thick skin is a requirement for every blogger. But do try to be helpful as well.
Don't just torture all these people and trounce on their dreams in the comments - email them your tips, your real suggestions, your advice, etc. Touch lives and all that.
Today: Style Points You know, the blog pulled together by a bunch of dick joke-happy commenters trying waaaay too hard to be the new KSK. Oh and it's not Stiles Points. Don't confuse the two. That's just blasphemy. The recently ninja'd Shakey's email is [sic]'d below.
Ohayou gozaimasu Daulerio san,
The other blogs you've featured on the Learning Curve have been pretty good,
but Style Points is the greatest of all time!
For those that don't know, I created Stye Points a couple months ago by
putting an ad in the casual encounters section of craigslist. My post got
responses from these creepers: Business Socks, ClitonPortisHead,
Saberhagendaaz and Chuck Knoblockhead. Now, I know what you're thinking: Did
he say ClitonPortisHead? What in the wallaby is CPH doing with those
shortstacks? The answer involves a mail order bride, 6 sage scented candles,
2 Costco bottles of Eucerin, Chuck Knoblockhead's Koi pond and bucket of
You've probably heard about our successful fake twitter accounts:
Real_Ron_Artest, Fake_Ron_Artest and/or BirdmanAnderson. Now that fake
twitter accounts get shut down faster than Socks at gay chicken ranch, we're
up a river without enough twitter to get us home. Figuratively speaking. I
think. Our daily hits have plateaued and Saberhagendaaz just railed our last
2 pills of blogger Viagra. I hosted a pow wow in Business Socks'
indoor tepee over the weekend and we decided the Learning Curve would be the
perfect way to engorge our traffic Santonio Holmes style.
What could the commenters possibly say that isnt' already tattooed on
Go ahead. Help these fake Twittering motherfuckers.