As you know, on Sunday Brett Favre Favred the Favres to a thrilling Favrory by Favring a last-second Favre to Greg Brett Favre. It was real sandFavre footFavre. He was a like a Favre out there!
As if next Monday evening's Packers-Vikings matchup needed more annoying hype, the Fudgeslinger just HAD to go and pull a last-second victory out of his ass (and he did it all himself mind you, with no help from anyone else on the field), prompting these actual reactions from the media:
TIM RYAN: "He just plays like a kid out there."
BERMAN: "This is why you sign Brett Favre! This is why you bring Brett Favre back."
TOM JACKSON: "He was like a kid out there."
LINDA COHN'S TWITTER: "Brett Favre a true Viking now!"
And now, here come the Packers into town, in what promises to be the Favriest of all possible matchups. I watched the entire Vikes-49ers game yesterday, and I assure you that Tim Ryan and Sam Rosen NEVER ONCE SHUT THE FUCKING FUCK UP about Favre for three hours. Praise was lavished. Stories of his love of the game and contagious enthusiasm were myriad. And then Favre connected with Lewis, and somehow the sycophancy became even MORE pronounced, spreading across all media platforms (with the blissful exception of the NFL Network's postgame show, which is perfect and wonderful and I now forgive Michael Irvin for stabbing that one guy with scissors).
And so, one week from now, we could be looking at the greatest concentration of Favre knob-slobbing the world has ever witnessed. As such, it is my duty, as both a writer for this site AND a conflicted Vikings fan, to venture into the belly of the beast. It's time for me to leave my nest and spread my wings, then plummet to the ground as a result of my unhealthy body mass index.
Time to go to the fucking Twin Cities, gang.
Yes, I'll be flying out to my old hometown for the game on Monday. I have no tickets. I'm not even sure I have pants. I may end up watching the game in a bar or something. I dunno. FUCK IT. WE'LL DO IT LIVE.
Got an extra ticket that you're willing to sell to Gawker Media for face value and not one goddamn penny more? Email me here. And if any of you know a good place to hang out near the stadium prior to kickoff, lemme know that too. We'll make it a happening. Or something.
So get ready, Minneapolis. Deadspin is coming to eat the cherry off your spoon.