Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day.

•People Magazine is reporting that Reggie Bush and Kim Kardashian are getting back together. Sources say Bush took a look at Lamar Odom, and realized he could do a lot worse.

•Despite our collective desire to will some playoff races into existence, the actual results are not cooperating. The Braves finally lost, and the Tigers salvaged a doubleheader split. That means your entertainment options this week are preseason NHL, the WNBA Finals, and killing yourself.

•Felix Jones will miss at least next week's game with a sprained knee ligament, which should mean the Cowboys will have to throw a lot more. That sound you just heard was Champ Bailey getting hard.

•With the local papers not even bothering to send writers on every road trip, the Los Angeles Kings sign away the Daily News beat writer to cover the team for their official web site. This is just how China covers its hockey teams. I think.

•Rams LB David Vobora will be suspended after testing positive for PEDs. And will you hear about it anywhere else? No. That's because the truth is no one cares about steroids in sports except for crusty old baseball writers and the French when an American is winning their race.

•A Brooklyn kennel is offering a season pass for football fans who want to drop their dogs off on Sundays to watch the games. Well, most games. When the Raiders are playing, they give you the option of watching a dog take a shit for three hours in lieu of watching JaMarcus Russell.

•Chad Pennington in January: "That's kind of the secret to being a comeback player — you have a good year, you get the award, then you get hurt... and then come back the following year and get the award again."

Send an email to Barry Petchesky, the author of this post, at barryp@deadspin.com.