Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to tips@deadspin.com. Subject: Morning crap.

The Tampa Bay Buccaneers were just what the doctor ordered for the Washington Redskins and this poor fan (click to enlarge) who could not only not afford a proper grocery bag, but was reduced to threatening suicide to spur his terrible team to victory. I believe that's called "auto-neurotic asphyxiation."

The Skins won and I assume this gentleman is still alive. Unfortunately, he's still a Redskins fan and there's no cure for that.

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P.S. It was either this photo or the LSU lineman throwing up. So you're welcome.

That's Monday morning for you. Time to spread some fear.

Send an email to Dashiell Bennett, the author of this post, at dashiell@deadspin.com.