Stacy Andrews Accused Of Lovingly Punching Girlfriend

I always got Eagles offensive linemen Shawn Andrews and Stacy Andrews confused. But now I have a handy way of distinguishing the two: Shawn is insane, and Stacy is accused of face-punching his lady.

From the Philly Inquirer comes this report of a domestic dispute between Andrews and his girlfriend, the awesomely named Brandy Box, at Andrews' home:

On the afternoon of Sept. 30, police received a call from a woman stating that she had been struck in the face by her boyfriend, according to the police report obtained by The Inquirer.

Two Lumberton police officers arrived approximately four minutes later at the house where they were met by Brandy Box, Andrews' fiancée. Box stated that "she and her fiance were involved in a verbal dispute when he punched her," the report said. Twenty minutes later, Andrews was transported to the Lumberton Township police department.

The police report said Box did not want to file a request for a restraining order or sign a complaint.

After Box decided not to pursue the matter, Andrews was released.

"I didn't hit her," Andrews said yesterday. "I'd be locked up and be in big doo-doo if I did."…

"It was just relationship stuff," Andrews said. "We got into a heated argument. She was going to leave . . . but it ended up being nothing."

And you can trust him on that. That man is a COMBAT vet. Wait, what's that? That's just the shirt? Christ, that's fucking stupid.

I still can't get over the name Brandy Box. She should be made of mahogany. And when you open her up, there should be a bottle of Calvados encased in a velvet lining inside. Anyway, Andrews' little alleged kerfuffle appears to over before it started, given that Box didn't file charges. Still, that won't stop me from using him as my go-to lady-punching Philly athlete of choice over Brett Myers now for all my domestic abuse humor. I got a feeling that Brett will make a strong effort to reclaim his throne sooner rather than later.

Because Brett Myers loves punching chicks in the face.