Chicago Tribune Deploys Troop Of Writers To Rip On Sosa's New Face

Sammy Sosa's new face has caused quite an international stir, but no more so than Chicago, specifically, the Chicago Tribune which did three different stories about Sosa's "cabeza blanca" that's captivated the nation.

First there's Fred Mitchell's "Around The Town" column which mentioned Sosa's desire to endorse the European mystery skin treatment in the U.S. Then David Haugh wishes the slugger a happy 41st birthday by asking some of his former teammates about his new face and interviewing British cosmetologists about why Sosa would do such a thing. Then he lobs this little dig at the end: "If Sosa says he's not trying to look like Michael Jackson, that's good enough for McRae. But cynics who remember the way Sosa played right field at the end of his career may point out it's not the first time he has resembled Jackson."

And The Trib's John Kass did everything but suggest he wouldn't fuck Sosa's face with Bea Arthur's dick:

• "pale as some manly Lady Gaga"
• "new Sammy looks like a boneless veal cutlet."
• "It's as if someone carefully deboned Sammy's face, rolled the skin and dipped it in an egg wash before dusting it with flour."
• "Maybe Sammy just wants to look like one particular, albeit dead, European male: Harry Caray."

***** (H/T J. Ash)

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