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While it may be true that God still loves the Redskins (photo courtesy of Mr. Irrelevant), the big J-Man (I call Jesus "J-Man" - he's cool about it) took Clinton Portis in the first round of his fantasy football draft. If you could only hear how much shit Buddha gives him about it.

Nevertheless, it's comforting to know that even at our lowest points, God will always be there - not for Dan Snyder, of course. The Holy Father can't stand that sanctimonious pipsqueak and hasn't had much time for him since the Redskins owner started hanging out with all of those damn Scientologists.

Alrighty, this concludes our deity-inspired dialogue for the day. Now you don't have to go to church tomorrow. You can thank me later.

Tell me, tell me what you're after, I just want to get there faster.

No, I'm Fairly Certain God Actually Hates Us and the Redskins [Mr. Irrelevant]

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