Dear Mr. Bird: Industry has fled. Our budget deficit is more than $1 billion. You are very rich. Do you really need to collect this 80 bucks we owe you? Sincerely, Indiana.
Among the $385 million dollars in Indiana's unclaimed property fund is a benefits payment for Bird, totaling all of $80. But he's not the only sports figure.
Reggie Miller has $1,073 waiting for him. Dwight Freeney has $526 with his name on it. The municipal corporation that runs Indianapolis's stadiums is owed $1,374, which I'm sure will make up for the $20 million annual hit it takes on Lucas Oil Stadium, thanks to the sweetheart deal they gave the Colts.
Update: Reader Christopher, a long-lost Hardy Boy, finds that Charlie Weis is owed a cool 40 bucks by Terminex. Still got those termites, eh Charlie?
Update No. 2: Urban Meyer, for some reason, is owed $60 by General Electric. And Lou Holtz is owed nearly $30,000, including unclaimed wages from Universal Studios.
And that's all 'til tomorrow. I know it's tough having two weekend daddies, but you have to be tolerant of alternative lifestyles.