The One Where Mike Piazza Caused The Tiger Woods MessS

We get a massive amount of tips in our inbox each week. Some are pretty interesting, but don't get published for one reason or another.

It's usually because they're just so absurd or really lack even the most tenuous of news angles to give them the go-ahead. Other times it's because they're just absolute horseshit. But every Friday until we get sick of running them, we'll present to you some of these not-so-shiny gems. All items should be treated as [Sic'd]. Enjoy...

Mike Piazza Started The Fire

BTW, Mike "I'm not gay" Piazza had Tiger Woods targeted. I'd used a golf term in describing an occasion with a man. We do agree that it is stupid.

Of course it doesn't matter, I just felt like telling somebody, and I picked you. Might wanna go play the lotto...

ME:

You have to spell this out a little more for me, if you don't mind.
Don't quite follow everything.

CRAZY LADY:

Years ago, Piazza wanted me to be his beard. I wasn't into that, so he's been punishing me ever since. He tries to stomp on whatever fun I'm having, he's been having me stalked for years.

No, it doesn't make sense. My best guess, and it's only a guess, is that he's mad at the world because he's attracted to men. Most gay people are nice and normal and fine with themselves, but Piazza's not. I'm sure he arranged for Tiger's secrets to be outed. You know his brother runs http://www.westovercountryclub.com/, the golfing part of it, anyway.

Piazza just wanted to create mayhem, because he's that kind of guy. This is one of the ways the rich and powerful screw with each other.

ME:

Ah. Of course.

(Ed. note: This woman also claimed Piazza orchestrated a hit on Steve Phillips during the Brooke Hundley scandal: "FYI, Mike "I'm not gay" Piazza set up Phillips and the crazy girl, and had you tipped off about it. He figures he'll keep you and ESPN busy fighting each other, and quiet the tales of his gayness. Just thought you should know — graceless"

Meet Seattle Eddie, The Man Who Knows Everything About Why Tiger Do What He Do

Great Read…some points to consider here…

- Post 9/11 the Feds broke up a National Circuit of "Houses" in many major cities that catered to gents needing "Release…" Newsweek did a page on this…will have my Sect'y scan and send it to you; better yet, send me your fax number;

- Up here in Seattle we have an Internet service devoted to us in the "Hobby…" called The Review Board…TRB…we rate the Ladies we sleep with…and many Ladies advertise their wares to be sampled…heavenly. (http://www.thereviewboard.net/)

- The Majority of Americans are so hung up about sex they can't enjoy themselves…The Euros laugh at us and the Asians just continue to live their own Sexual Kung Fu with smiles on their faces…

- In the end it all comes down to the PENIS…most women, my ex included, forget that that specific Organ has a mind of its' own and must be attended to…marriage vows taken don't mention that car bj's or hand jobs when the red river flows are OUT after the ring goes on…American women just don't take care of their men properly and many men allow this "Pussification" to occur…shame on them…

I could go on and on…thanks for your time…

Peace, Eddie

BURN

Hey A.J. or whatever you're name is—-You sound like you're a mite jealous over Tiger. Maybe that's because your sponsor pays you just what you're worth - For using filthy language and demonizing a Pro Athlete.

Charles

It's Always The Bassoon-Playing Bills Fans That Get Upset

While I am a huge fan of Deadspin, I really cannot approve of a
satirical headline/article that is based on the death of anyone. Even
though I attend the most ridiculously nicknamed school in the SEC
(South Carolina), I am apart of the most ridiculously named religion
(Pastafarianism), and am majoring in the least likely to succeed
degree (music performance- bassoon), I know this is wrong. Hell, I am
a Bills fan! We joke every day that Jauron was really just an animated
corpse brought alive by Miami fans just to piss us off! All I ask is
that, in the future, you leave the dead alone, especially those who
not only you, but your U.S. fan base, don't know a lick about.
In Honor,
SGT ****

Grady Sizemore Still Gaining More (Male) Fans

Good Day sir,

I wanted to thank you for bringing this stud to the internet. Trust me that it is increasing the male readership on top of the Females'

Maybe one day there might be some totally nude (front and back).

Best regards,
Don

Brooke Hundley Chimes In

The One Where Mike Piazza Caused The Tiger Woods MessS

Irony Meets Irony

I didnt get an MFA in journalism, or whatever the fuck you call it, but come on:

"Good spelling and grammar (this includes coherence, capitalization and punctuation)."

You should apply that philosophy to posts, too. Why the hard-on for comment-ninjas? Its below you. I'm thisclose to getting laid off, and when I do, I'll edit the posts for spelling and grammar. You clowns could use it. Thats an official offer.

Top photo: Fabios of Fayetteville