Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day.
I guess that's Ryan Howard getting his pucker-face on, supposedly at some bar in Indiana, where one of our intrepid stalkers whipped out his phone and snapped the Phillies' first baseman off-seasoning. No word on whether RyHo took that woman's arm home that evening. The dude in the back looks like he's ready to boot at any moment. No word on that either. Let's get to a morning round-up
• Mark Ingram, the Crimson Tide's shifty running back, walks away with the Heisman Trophy barely beating White Lightnin' Toby Gerhart from Stanford. Ingram is the first Alabamian to ever win the prestigious award, something that can never, ever be taken away from him. Unless of course he kills his wife and a waiter. /Norm'd. [NYT]