Ken Rosenthal thinks the Red Sox will go Gonzo and that Matt Holliday might consider signing with the Orioles because of God. Buster Olney calls Nick Johnson a "base-clogger," which makes me sad. Read on. HOT FUCKING STOVE.

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• Five years from now, when Phillies fans gaze upon the landfill of the team's farm system, they will blame Roy Halladay's kid.

• The A's are the lucky Pierre of the Phillies-Blue Jays deal. They get Michael Taylor, bona fide stud and diabetic. Type 1 diabetes is the new on-base percentage.

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• Godzilla is in Anaheim.

• Hee Seop Choi climbed a mountain.

• The inevitable George Will, author of Muppet Dilettante at Work, is inflicting himself on baseball again.