Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day.
* It seems some Northern Ireland hooligans got into to a nasty eye-gouging, hair-pulling, kicking a guy when he's on the ground-style foofaraw. Oh, wait those are the players. [Unprofessional Foul]
* San Diego wide reciever Vincent Jackson may have been distracted during Sunday's playoff game since he was pulled over earlier in the day ... because his music was too loud. Oh, and he was driving with a suspended license and expired tags, so they put him in handcuffs, impounded his car and he had to call Philip Rivers to give him a ride to the game. So basically everything is the San Diego P.D.'s fault. [PFT]
* Serena Williams and Roger Federer both won their opening matches at the Australian Open. Excited yet? [Official Site]
* Remember at last year's Slam Dunk contest when LeBron James stole all the press attention by announcing he would participate in the 2010 contest and the guys who were actually in the event were totally overshadowed with talk about what an awesome crowd pleaser LeBron James is? Yeah, he changed his mind. Oh, you thought that was serious? [ESPN]
* Lakers: Still better than the Magic. [Reuters]
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Tuesday. Let's take it nice and easy.