We get a massive amount of tips in our inbox each week. Some are pretty interesting, but don't get published for one reason or another.(NSFW)
It's usually because they're just so absurd or really lack even the most tenuous of news angles to give them the go-ahead. Other times it's because they're just absolute horseshit. But every Friday until we get sick of running them, we'll present to you some of these not-so-shiny gems. All items should be treated as [Sic'd]. Enjoy...
I Hope She Shows Up To The Big Telethon, Too
This is the email invite I got in the mail tonight. If you want the actual email forwarded, I can do that. Let me know. As per usual when I send something your way, can you keep me anonymous? Thanks! I've attached the picture of the promo card for that night. And here is the rest of the info that came with it:
Red Cross Haiti Relief Benefit Saturday at Manor with Jaimee Grubbs
Join Outfit Events, the LGN Group and the American Red Cross in contributing to the Disaster Relief Efforts in Haiti, Saturday night at Manor Lounge.
On January 12, a series of earthquakes measuring 6.5 to 7.3 on the Richter scale devastated Haiti. The American Red Cross is working with its partners in the global Red Cross and Red Crescent network, including the Haitian Red Cross, and other partners to assist those affected by this disaster.
Your $10 donation to the American Red Cross will support emergency relief and recovery efforts to help those people affected by the earthquake in Haiti. Assistance provided by the American Red Cross may include deploying personnel, sending relief supplies, and providing financial resources.
Over 70,000 people are confirmed dead, only a third of the estimate death toll. Millions lost loved ones, hundreds of thousands of children- now orphans lost care-takers and many more injured in the quake are hosptilized without the medical resources necessary to recover. An entire nation, the poorest in the Western Hemisphere, needs our help. They need your help.
We invite you to make an impact by giving back to those in need this Saturday night. The evening will feature music by Resident DJ, and a Chicago favorite, DJ Dante the Don and a special guest appearance by Jaimee Grubbs who needn't an introduction.
Table or Wristband party reservations can be made by email to email@example.com or call 312.714.2626 for further assistance.
Macho Camacho Has Stripped Down For Playgirl
my buddy snapped a picture of Hector Camacho's naked be-hind for his Playgirl shoot. any interest?
harvey levin offered me $500, so if you can match that, i'll sell it to you, because i "like you".
(Ed.note: We did not pay for this photo.)
Yes. A Really Great Idea
What a wonderful idea. I write poetry and have been thinking of some ideas to do a poem in Kiffin's honor. A few years ago I did write a poem for John Ward when he retired. I was so honored when the Rocky Top News contacted me and ask for permission to publish it, so perhaps you read it.
I am the biggest "Big Orange" fan in the state of Alabama. Lots of people really hate me here, but that's allright. I hope it won't be too long before we can kick their ass again.
Keep up the good work. If I get a poem written, I will email it along to you.
Carole H. Huntsville, Al.
Young Jack Has Made An Enemy
Hey you know that 13 year old kid who went 1-1 last week? Yeah well I went 3-1. I'm a 16 year old kid who has a life, I play Texas HS Football, I am on the wrestling team, and inwrite for the sports section for my high school newspaper. These things keep me from at school till 5:30. I had the same idea as that kid when I was 13 too. I just never had the time to write it down and slap in on a blog. But thanks to Twitter (@Jacob_Dondo) and this sprain ankle that is currently keeping me from school today I have time to write some things up. Just shoot me an e-mail back and I will write up a little something.
PS I not trying to make this like a teen war or something. More like a mexican stand off.
Sent from my iPod
This Sounds Like The Most Terrifying Weekend In New Orleans Ever
Just got back yesterday from a bachelor party in New Orleans. Along our drunken adventures, we ran into Jeremy Shockey at the Penthouse Club on Saturday night (he had the VIP section reserved). Seeing Shockey at a strip club was sort of no surprise, but didn't really recognize anyone with him.
As we were leaving Pat O'Brien's later that night we saw Jay Mariotti creeping on these young girls, then later saw him lurking at the Old Opera House Bar. He looked like a drunk cast member from a really bad production of Grease or a bad Elvis impersonator or something. He looks weird in person.
Then, while waiting for our flight at the airport yesterday, we watched some of the Jets game at the airport bar next to Malcolm Gladwell. At first I mentioned to my friend that I thought it was Gladwell, and he was like, "Which guy?" So I motioned in his direction and was like, "The only guy whose hair looks like Malcolm Gladwell's. Are you serious?" As soon as he saw the dude's hair, he agreed it had to be him. Then we googled pics to confirm.
Nothing tooooo exciting about any of them, but we had other things going on. Also, not sports-related, but we had lunch at Willie Mae's Scotch House Saturday afternoon and waited in line next to Dennis Haysbert aka President David Palmer. Unfortunately we spent so much time in strip clubs that no one carried a camera around all weekend for any of this.
Tommy Craggs Is The Keith Olbermann Of Sports Blogs Or Something
You smack of nothing more than a strap carrier who has grown up in the generation of Urban EuroAmerican kids who support gangsta culture and all of its trappings ,an apologist who sees something noble in rescuing an unworthy slug by denigrating another race, therefore elevating a bust. Typical.
Don't you see how, when you start talking politics, all you do is whine, become more angry and sound even more mean than when your looking up Venus' skirt. And your giving Curt Schilling much more credit than he deserves.
When the votes are counted and you are happy with the result there is gloating. When you lose there is meanness and anger. Good thing I don't come to your site for rational discussion of anything. I feel sorry for the guys that do.
Would Deadspin consider replacing Tommy Craggs with an unthinking, knee-jerk liberal chimpanzee? You could probably save money making that kind of switch without any discernible drop in the overall quality or substance of the writing that appears on your site. Plus, the chimp might go nuts at some point and rip Petchesky's face off—which is a win-win for everybody involved.
I dunno. Chimps are pretty expensive...
Also, just for the record, what's so knee-jerk liberal about that Schilling post? I don't deny my politics, but I'm not sure there's anything partisan about finding Curt Schilling to be a blowhard dilettante nuisance. If America can't rally around *that*, then I fear our house is hopelessly divided.
Pissed At Craggs:
For the record, I can't stand Schilling. He is a blowhard and simply the mirror image of George Clooney and the like. With that said, your politics are infused in everything you write, which would be fine if I were reading The Daily Kos or The Nation (which I do read daily, if only to see just how batshit crazy the American left has become over the last decade) but it gets tiresome after awhile when reading a sports-gossip website.
I get it, you hate conservatives. I get it, you think we are all greedy, inbred, bible thumping troglodytes who want to kill off gays, whales and everyone who is darker then Bronson Pinochette (we are all secret fans of his wholesomely delightful Cousin Balky character). Thanks for sharing that opinion. It is a very novel and courageous stance to take in your field of employment. But please, every now and then, just shut the fuck up and tell me a biting and humorous story about Michael Jordan and Tiger Woods banging every $10K per hour hooker in Vegas without referencing George W. Bush or Sarah Palin.
Please quote these examples. Because I don't remember writing any of these things you cite. I'd certainly remember making a doozy of a Freudian slip like "Bronson Pinochette."
Pissed At Craggs
Oh Jeezus Fucking Christ, I was speaking figuratively. I'll tell you what, I'll donate the chimp.
Be my guest.
Dash Would Like Everyone To Know He's Not Actually Starting A Whites Only Basketball League