Mark Sanchez Graduates From Poise To Chutzpah

Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day.

• Sanchez wore the t-shirt you see here — a reference, fittingly, to history's most overrated sports movie — at a press conference yesterday, and the New York media suddenly turned into Tiger Beat. If I were Sanchez, I'd be careful about drawing the comparison. You remember how the movie ends, right? Guy gets saddled with a fat blond corn silo of a kid and Glenn Close. Glenn Close.

Roger Federer advances at Melbourne Park, and the Williams sisters continue to make asses of their opponents (about which, more later).

• Everyone is mad at Allen Iverson for having the gall to get voted into the All-Star Game's starting lineup. How dare a popular player win a popularity contest!

Phil Mickelson will open his 2010 season in the Farmers Insurance Open at Torrey Pines. Tiger Woods will be busy not having sex.

Irwin Dambrot, one of seven City College basketball players popped for shaving points during the school's championship season in 1950, has died and gone to that great "Allagaroo!" cheer in the sky.

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Good morning. It'll be quiet around these parts today.