In sports, everyone in a winner—some people just win better than others. Like Americans who, let's face it, are the awesomest winners who ever won a victory. Now it feels like a real Olympics!
Yesterday, was the United States' best day ever at the Winter Olympics, which makes it the best day ever at the Winter Olympics. Six medals, three golds, and at least one of them was seen plausibly live! Thank goodness that no one on TV was forced to talk about boring old Norway. That is really our greatest triumph of all. Our two sexiest skiiers did not faceplant on the downhill and Shani Davis (whose story I can't recall, but I'm sure is very inspiring) defended one of his world titles and Shaun White just doesn't give a fuck about anything. (Thanks for giving NBC another reason to never broadcast anything live, btw.) It's enough to give every red-blooded patriot an Uncle Samgasm