Stevie Franchise Attempts To Scratch His Frontal LobeS

This is just dag nasty. But at least the Orlando Magic guard has found an activity to keep him occupied while bench-riding. I love the reaction these guys had while watching the horrifying booger excavation take place.

* Buster Olney apparently talked to an MLB source who had just licked a sheet of blotter acid, because why else would they insist the Cardinals and Phillies were trying to orchestrate some Pujols-for-Howard deal? It was quickly denied by Phils' GM Ruben Amaro.

* Somebody on the Terps message board mysteriously knew the seeds before the requisite CBS pageantry could commence.

* Rihanna is still following around Matt Kemp and, for some reason, wearing an outfit from a Salt-N-Pepa video from 1989.

*****

Good morning. It's Monday. Time to reevaluate your station in life.