The 10 Saddest Items In Thomas "Hitman" Hearns's Police Auction

Barry PetcheskyBarry Petchesky|published: Thu 1st April, 13:35 2010
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Hearns owes a ton of money to the IRS, and he's been forced to auction off his possessions. But it's not all priceless ring memories; the ordinary household items will break your heart just as much.

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10) Boxing robe. The boxing memorabilia is always the first to go, and will fetch the highest price. It's also the last link to past greatness.

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9) Ten Christmas stockings. Oh God. This is like, Cormac McCarthy-level pathos.

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8) Nintendo Game Cube. Who the hell bought a Game Cube? Even sadder, the auction also includes an originial Xbox and PS2.

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7) Ratty old speakers. Rusty, outdated and useless. Is this too obvious a metaphor?

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6) Coffee maker. Not sure why this one gets me so much. It's just the thought of Thomas Hearns waking up each morning, and not being able to afford to make his own cup of coffee.

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5) Silver baby spoon. The mind boggles. Is this a treasured memory of lost innocence? A priceless heirloom that's fed first-born Hearns males for generations? It can be yours, for under $15 bucks, probably.

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4) Bird clock. It's a bird clock.

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3) AA batteries. How bad do your money problems have to be before you're forced to sell off batteries?

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2) Bluetooth headset — unopened. It's like he bought it and had no one to talk to.

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1) Women's engagement/wedding ring. Now I'm just depressed.

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