Smoking Pot At Target Field Earns Man A Stern "Warning"S

Target Field has not hosted an official Major League game yet, so people are probably wondering: What's the policy on lighting up homemade vegetable bongs in the stands? Early tests of the system suggest that Dave is not here, man.

A CNN iReport—which is just as good real news, no matter what your journalism professor says—from a concerned old person claims that during the Twins exhibition game against the Cardinals last Friday, a man in his section declared that he would be the first person to smoke marijuana inside the brand spanking new stadium. Then in the 7th inning, he indeed pulled out a fresh red pepper, carved it into a makeshift bong, then smoked some of God's green herb right there in his seat. Mission accomplished.

The worried citizen, who may or may not be a teacher, says he complained to security (to protect his impressionable "students") and when they came to investigate, all the ushers did was give the dude a warning. No ejection. No taser. Not a single mellow harshed. They didn't even take the pepper away! Pretty incredible, even for a preseason game.

The report is completely unverified, of course, but there are photos of a man who does appear to be lighting a red pepper on fire. So unless he was trying to grill his own ballpark fajitas, there aren't a lot of other possible explanations. What you're saying then, is that the Metrodome roof was the like The Man trying to keep us down and now we're like ... free. Outdoor baseball really expands your mind, you know?

You only get a warning at Target Field if you smoke weed [CNN iReport]