Not Invited To The Bachelor Party For One William F. Leitch: Jay Mariotti

Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day.

•Thanks to Lozo for this shot of Mariotti, allegedly taken yesterday at a bar in Santa Monica, next to a woman who was allegedly there with him. The former is more believable than the latter.

•Floyd Mayweather shows why he's probably the best boxer on earth, methodically dismantling Shane Mosley in a lopsided decision. Did you enjoy the gamesmanship and pouting in the leadup to the Mayweather-Pacquiao fight that never happened? Well, good, because get ready for another six months of it.

•Cleveland adjusts late, and comes back to take the first game in their series with the Celtics. Oh, and if you didn't see it, be aware that LeBron is going to milk this "injury" all the way through the playoffs.

•Cristobal Huet should probably have been named first star, since he's the only goaltender who didn't let a puck past him. Unfortunately for Chicago, he only took over after Antti Niemi gave up 5 in two periods, in a 5-1 to the Canucks. That being said, there's a ton of space on the Blackhawk bandwagon now.

•Ryo Ishikawa sets a major tour record, shooting a 58 in today's fourth round of The Crowns, on the Japan Tour. I know some of you might poo-poo this achievement because you think the Japan Tour courses aren't up to PGA standards. But when the 18-year-old Ishikawa shoots his age, will you be impressed then?

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Good morning folks. You'll be happy to know that everyone survived the bachelor party. Well, except for that one stripper, but she doesn't count, because strippers aren't real people.