And Now, The Taser Video You've All Been Waiting For

Ah, baseball. The crack of the bat. The feel of the grass. The smell of burning hair, as 1200 volts of electricity course through a 17-year-old's nervous system.

We've also got a name to attach to the tasee — Steve Consalvi, a high school senior from GIlbertsville, about an hour northwest of the city. But names don't matter if we can find a good nickname. No one remembers Matthew Clemmens. Everyone rememebers Pukemon. So, Mr. Consalvi, I dub thee: "Voltron."

Consalvi, who'll be quite welcome at Penn State this fall, even called his father beforehand, asking for permission to act the fool.

He said, 'Dad, can I run on the field? I said, 'I don't think you should, son.' "

"This would be a once in a lifetime experience!" the son said.

The Inquirer breathlessly reports that this is the first time a fan has been Tasered on the field at Citizens Bank Park, as if that's a stat that a)the team should keep track of, and b)fans should applaud finally getting on the scoreboard.

Consalvi was charged as a juvenile with resisting arrest, disorderly conduct and defiant trespass. He also now controls the power of electricity, and will be using his newfound gift to fight crime.

Tasered teen asked dad for OK to run on field [Philadelphia Inquirer]