Dairy Council Takes The Fall For The PatriotsS

Remember when the Patriots ditched a nice little middle school event to, I dunno, go shoot up drugs or something? It wasn't their fault, says this New England Dairy Council press release, which was probably drafted at Belichick gunpoint.

Here's the release we received, shifting the onus for the unfulfilled dreams of preadolescents from the Patriots, to the organization running the program:

New England Dairy & Food Council Apologizes to New England Patriots and Connecticut School for Misunderstanding Over Player Appearance

New England Dairy & Food Council apologizes to the students at Lebanon Middle School in Connecticut and to the New England Patriots for the miscommunication that disappointed students earlier this week and led to undeserved criticism of the Patriots.

The HOPSports multi-media, interactive fitness session we bring to schools throughout New England does not involve appearances by Patriots players. While a player appearance was never promised with this program, we now realize our communication with the school had created false expectations.

It was New England Dairy & Food Council's mistake to use imprecise language, and we deeply regret that it resulted in false expectations by the students at Lebanon Middle School and generated negative press for the Patriots. We are currently working with Lebanon Middle School to make this right for them and their students.

The New England Patriots do exemplary work in the community and deserve praise for their commitment to philanthropy.

Actually, that sounds less like the Dairy Council taking the blame than it does putting it on the school. You hear that, Lebanon Middle School? We never promised player appearances. We don't know which one of you started the rumor that Tom Brady was going to take all the 8th grade girls to prom, but that was never part of the deal. Now quit badmouthing the team, or we're going to take away the half-pint chocolate milk cartons from Friday's lunches.