The One Where The Elon Baseball Team Will Fight You Over Anything
We get a massive amount of tips in our inbox each week. Some are pretty interesting, but don't get published for one reason or another.
It's usually because they're just so absurd or really lack even the most tenuous of news angles to give them the go-ahead. Other times it's because they're just absolute horseshit. But every Friday until we get sick of running them, we'll present to you some of these not-so-shiny gems. All items should be treated as [Sic'd]. Enjoy...
Elon Baseball Is Quick To Throw Down If They Steal Your Hat
I go to Elon - FUN! . No surprise here, the baseball players pick fights every chance they get. Only surprise is that no one from the fraternity community came flying out of the stands to join the action.
I am told from credible sources - other athletes at the school - that most of the players use steroids, and by most, I absolutely mean all of them. The place is just a revolving door for these kids on their way to make it big*. They are all retarded and just crush scholarships for a couple of years until they get signed, at which point they drop out, and continue to live on campus while the major league clubs pay the Elon coaches to train them all day until spring training starts. How is this not against NCAA policy/why did I not play baseball more when I was growing up - thanks Dad.
My buddies and I were at a party one night - which is sick, but not the point of the story - when this little asian girl stole my roommates hat and put it on this baseball players head for no apparent reason. So my friend approached this meat stick and asked for his hat back at which point the kid became incredibly angry - it was a nice hat I suppose - and just attacked. Next thing we know there is a scramble to break it up (my friend would have gotten his face pounded). It is a typical college fight scene except for the fact that as the emotions were receding, about 10 other players/meat sticks came running down the street. Apparently one of the players had sent out an all points bulletin notifying everyone of the fight, and the guys were just wet for some pounding - and yes I am still talking about a fight.
Anyways there are hundreds of stories about idiot Elon baseball players, and I know a lot of kids at Elon read Deadspin because it is the shit
Party on
"Party Boy"
* most of them will not make it big
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