Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day.
• The American tableau you see here is by photographer Frank Espich and was captured in the Indianapolis 500 infield some 30 years ago. Metromix Indianapolis has a great collection of his Snake Pit photos, from which one learns, among other things, that it was the height of fashion in early-'80s Indianapolis for young women to wear large black boxes over their upper torsos. H/T Indy Cornrows.
• Oh, and Mr. Ashley Judd won the thing this year..
• Teenage knuckleballer Eri Yoshida, which is Japanese for "distaff Tim Wakefield," debuted yesterday for the Golden Baseball League's Chico Outlaws. She went three innings, gave up four runs on five hits, and somehow drove in a run.
• As good as Roy Halladay was Saturday night, SI.com's Joe Sheehan points out that he's actually pitched better this season.
• Your LeBron rumor of the day: Worldwide Wes wants Lakers assistant Brian Shaw to coach the Bulls because LeBron is supposedly "intrigued" by the triangle offense.
• Here's a video about former Expos mascot Youppi! narrated by someone doing a Christopher Walken impression:
Yeah, I don't know, either.
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Happy Memorial Day. David will do some light posting today and try not to say things that I'll have to delete later.