My friend was studying abroad in Italy when he took a weekend trip to Interlochen, Switzerland..he tried to jump a fence and it nearly ripped his foot off — Jason

Nearly. But not enough. I think a maxi pad would have sufficed.

Blood Writes: The Mangled Foot From Switzerland (WARNING: UGLY FOOT ALERT)

Come on, now. You can do better than this. I would lick guacamole off his foot. It's fine. Up the ante, please and send to tips@deadpsin.com. Subject: Blood week.