The Washington Nationals' Band-Aid, Stephen Strasburg, makes his Major League debut tonight against the anemic Pittsburgh Pirates. He's expected to throw three no-hitters, hit five home runs, and save numerous cats from numerous trees.
Bask in this moment, Nationals. Last night you drafted the most well-regarded amateur prospect since, well, the guy you drafted last year. You're only six games out of first, and it's early June. The entire baseball world will be paying attention to you tonight.
Beginning tonight, you will have a major star on your team for the first time since you were the Expos (though Ryan Zimmerman seems like a really nice person), a guy who, unless his arm goes Van Poppel, will do great things for you over the next few years. He's all yours, Washington, from now until the day he signs with the Yankees.
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin, get pumped, watch the games and hang out with Dash later.