Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day.
• Ghana defeated Serbia One- Нула, on a penalty kick in the 84th minute. But what does the "Sex Machines" sign mean? I-Team, assemble, please. Also, Ghana is the official World Cup team of Deadspin. I decided.
• The Phillies lost to the Red Sox 987-2, as Joe Blanton gave up 986 runs in four shitty innings of work. Don Nava picked up a bat for the first time ever, then proceeded to hit seven grand slams in a row. The Phillies offense continues to be nonexistent.
• Jay Glazer's best friend, Chuck Liddell, was knocked out by Rich Franklin last night at UFC 115.
• Here's an unofficial MLB player poll of the best umpires. Guess who came in first?
Okay. Good late-morning. It's gonna be a sluggish one, but fun, fun, fun.