Here's an unwelcome departure from refuckingallignment and World Cup news: Tonya Harding, disgraced former figure skater, still has fans. Horny fans, actually, who not-so-eloquently fantasize about "karate fucking" her and other disturbing coital activities.
Plow through some of the most recent haunting submissions from this year, which include many sporty activities. Sound the vuvuzelas!:
I couldn't believe this was happening. Then she threw me a curve, suggesting that we arm wrestle. She said if I won, I would get a blow job. If she won, I would have to go down on her. I don't know if you've ever arm wrestled a topless woman, but I can assure you that any normal man would only be at half strength doing so. I must admit though that even on my best day I would not have beaten her. She pretty easily put my arm down, removed her shorts and said "You know what you have to do."
As a hockey player I've always had a thing for hard fucking ice skaters. I especially like their strong feet. Taking them out of there skates and putting them sweet little toes into my mouth.
I give the feline a last pat on the head and stroll to the bars - separated by the cage we touch hands. "It can rip you to shreds," I say.
"I would like to know what that feels like."
Tonya magically passes through the steel bars and enters the cage. We make love on top of the tiger whose purring rumbles our very soul.
When we finish, we unleash the wild creature on the world... Tonya rides it into the horizon while I lie drained on a pile of torn meat.
AND, OF COURSE, LUSTY FLATULENCE:
Sometimes too I shall surprise you asleep, lift up your skirts and open your drawers gently, then lie down gently by you and begin to lick lazily round your bush. You will begin to stir uneasily then I will lick the lips of my darling's cunt. You will begin to groan and grunt and sigh and fart with lust in your sleep
Flrrm. Who needs a shower? Anybody? I need a shower. And a tiger.