Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in this
morning retardedly hot afternoon. Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day
* The musician person known as Lady Gaga disrupted another fine day of New York City baseball, this time wreaking havoc over at the Billionaire Boys Club in the Bronx. The NYPost reported she's permanently banned from the Yankees clubhouse after she was too drunkenly Gaga around the clubhouse, which included fondling her own boobs and creeping up on Robinson Cano. Brian Cashman, most likely sweating from the intense questions, clarified:
"There is just a time and place," said Cashman. "It is not her fault."
Yes, it's called prison. [via Sports Grid]
* Manny was Manny for one at bat, homering at Fenway, but then Dustin Pedroia ruined his by pulling out a walk-off scrappy hit off of Jonathan Broxton in the 9th. [SI]
* The French World Cup team performs sepuku on its tournament hopes. Yes, they've even snubbed their homeland during death.[LAT]
* What else — oh yeah, HOLY FUCK NEW ZEALAND.
Sorry for the delays. Technical difficulties, so to speak. That's what happens when you spend the night with Lady Gaga.
But let's do this.