Extremely In-Depth Profiles In Courage: Nereida Gallardo & Irina Shayk (A.K.A. Cristiano Ronaldo's Girlfriends)

Up there you have two women, Nereida Gallardo and Irina Shayk, who are allegedly Cristiano Rondaldo's girlfriend. They aren't being blamed for anything (yet) but there are two of them! What do we really know about them? Let's break it down and compare the two.

Extremely In-Depth Profiles In Courage: Nereida Gallardo & Irina Shayk (A.K.A. Cristiano Ronaldo's Girlfriends)

Name: Nereida Gallardo

Extremely In-Depth Profiles In Courage: Nereida Gallardo & Irina Shayk (A.K.A. Cristiano Ronaldo's Girlfriends)

Name: Irina Shayk. Advantage: Shayk.

Extremely In-Depth Profiles In Courage: Nereida Gallardo & Irina Shayk (A.K.A. Cristiano Ronaldo's Girlfriends)

Gallardo's Job: Inordinately good-looking mechanic.

Extremely In-Depth Profiles In Courage: Nereida Gallardo & Irina Shayk (A.K.A. Cristiano Ronaldo's Girlfriends)

Shayk's Job: Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Model. Advantage: Depends on individual preference.

Extremely In-Depth Profiles In Courage: Nereida Gallardo & Irina Shayk (A.K.A. Cristiano Ronaldo's Girlfriends)

Gallardo's Legs: There.

Extremely In-Depth Profiles In Courage: Nereida Gallardo & Irina Shayk (A.K.A. Cristiano Ronaldo's Girlfriends)

Shayk's Legs: From here to YaYa and other Jerry Lewis-isms. Advantage: Shayk.

Extremely In-Depth Profiles In Courage: Nereida Gallardo & Irina Shayk (A.K.A. Cristiano Ronaldo's Girlfriends)

Gallardo's Stats: One elongated pronunciation of "damn."

Extremely In-Depth Profiles In Courage: Nereida Gallardo & Irina Shayk (A.K.A. Cristiano Ronaldo's Girlfriends)

Shayk's Stats: Several self-inflicted hits over the head with a frying pan resulting in a comical, rapidly growing bump on the subject's head. Advantage: Tie

Extremely In-Depth Profiles In Courage: Nereida Gallardo & Irina Shayk (A.K.A. Cristiano Ronaldo's Girlfriends)

Gallardo's "Looking Over Her Shoulder-ility:" 6/10

Extremely In-Depth Profiles In Courage: Nereida Gallardo & Irina Shayk (A.K.A. Cristiano Ronaldo's Girlfriends)

Shayk's "Looking Over Her Shoulder-ility:" 9/10. That is a Linda Blairian neck turn there.

Extremely In-Depth Profiles In Courage: Nereida Gallardo & Irina Shayk (A.K.A. Cristiano Ronaldo's Girlfriends)

Gallardo Horizontal: Like so.

Extremely In-Depth Profiles In Courage: Nereida Gallardo & Irina Shayk (A.K.A. Cristiano Ronaldo's Girlfriends)

Shayk Horizontal: Lah-ike suh-ho. Advantage: Gallardo.

Extremely In-Depth Profiles In Courage: Nereida Gallardo & Irina Shayk (A.K.A. Cristiano Ronaldo's Girlfriends)

Gallardo's Natural Habitat: Sandy beaches.

Extremely In-Depth Profiles In Courage: Nereida Gallardo & Irina Shayk (A.K.A. Cristiano Ronaldo's Girlfriends)

Shayk's Natural Habitat: Pleasant meadows. Pleasant meadows that might have ticks. Advantage: Gallardo.

Extremely In-Depth Profiles In Courage: Nereida Gallardo & Irina Shayk (A.K.A. Cristiano Ronaldo's Girlfriends)

Gallardo Up Close And Personal: A lot better than Up Close and Personal.

Extremely In-Depth Profiles In Courage: Nereida Gallardo & Irina Shayk (A.K.A. Cristiano Ronaldo's Girlfriends)

Shayk Up Close And Personal: Loses points for the self-photo thing. Advantage: Gallardo.

Extremely In-Depth Profiles In Courage: Nereida Gallardo & Irina Shayk (A.K.A. Cristiano Ronaldo's Girlfriends)

Arm Candy Skills: Low

Extremely In-Depth Profiles In Courage: Nereida Gallardo & Irina Shayk (A.K.A. Cristiano Ronaldo's Girlfriends)

Arm Candy Skills: Through the roof. Advantage: Shayk.

Extremely In-Depth Profiles In Courage: Nereida Gallardo & Irina Shayk (A.K.A. Cristiano Ronaldo's Girlfriends)

Closing Arguments: This photo.

Extremely In-Depth Profiles In Courage: Nereida Gallardo & Irina Shayk (A.K.A. Cristiano Ronaldo's Girlfriends)

Closing Arguments: This photo.

Winner: You, the reader. But, Gallardo really, because she is probably not currently dating the floppish dandy (if Page Six is to be believed) and because she is a friend to the British tabloids (NSFW).