Darko Milicic Is Bread From God, And Other Crazy Things David Kahn BelievesS

"It was like," Timberwolves GM David Kahn said yesterday, "manna from heaven." By "it," he of course means Darko Milicic, and by "manna" he does not mean "flaky white substance blanketing the ground," even though he should.

This came during Kahn's painfully awkward conversation with summer league broadcasters Matt Winer and Chris Webber. Webber asked Kahn what he sees in the newly re-signed Darko that just about everyone else in basketball doesn't. Kahn prattled on for a bit, casually comparing the acquisition of a 7-foot stiff to the time God made breakfast for the Israelites. Then he got really loopy. Via Lang Whitaker at Slam Online:

KAHN: I haven't seen a big man pass like him.
WEBBER: (bursts out laughing) Wow.
KAHN: He really does pass like Vlade.
WEBBER: Wow. Like Vlade Divac?
KAHN: Absolutely.
WEBBER: Whoa.

Webber composed himself, however, and tried to give Kahn an out ...

WEBBER: One thing that every guy who's played this game knows is that it only takes one guy to believe in you and put you in a position for success, so… I'll definitely be looking forward to watching his growth with you guys this year.

... to no avail:

KAHN: Well, and I think your career is somewhat indicative. What year was it that you really felt like…kind of, felt like you were in your own. In the League.
WEBBER: Yeah. I'm…you know…I'm not really sure. But…(laughing) we're not talking about me and Darko [in the same sentence].

Here's the video, if you're looking to feel uncomfortable:

Click to view

To recap: He thinks Chris Webber's career is "indicative" of Darko's. He looks at his Balkan Jawann Oldham and sees Vlade Divac. He takes two point guards in the same draft — including one, Ricky Rubio, who wants nothing to do with his team — then signs another one, then another one, thereby ensuring Rubio really wants nothing to do with his team, but just in case he hangs on to Rubio's rights as their value rapidly depreciates so that he might have the privilege of overpaying for him in 2012. On those occasions when Kahn doesn't do something entirely stupid — like pickpocketing Michael Beasley (who, pssst, can actually play) or carving out some cap space and stockpiling draft picks in the Al Jefferson deal — it has the air of a mark at a poker table finally scoring his gutshot straight. One starts to get the feeling that David Kahn really doesn't know dick about basketball, and that the only miracle hereabouts was that he got the job in the first place.

Links: Bron, Kahn and Webber [Slam Online]