In sports, everyone is a winner-some people just win better than others. Like the University of Georgia's freshman orientation video, which forces us to invent new words to describe it, because "awful" and "embarrassing" are no longer cromulent enough.

I'm almost loath to hate on the orientation leaders performing in this abortion of a video, because I guarantee that they had no choice. This is clearly a 50-year-old woman's idea of what 18-year-old kids find cool, and how to relate to them. Those poor redshirts, all they get in exchange for their dignity is summer housing and a tuition reimbursement.

But everything about this video is amazing. The production values (check the disappearing effect at 1:45), the sound quality (I'm not certain, but I think they may have recorded the vocals underwater), and Mark Richt!

Yes, coach Richt makes a cameo, and he gives it the old college try, even though for his first appearance at 2:23, he's so cloaked in shadow, it might just be a cardboard cutout.

UGA's going to catch shit, but no school can make it through orientation week without completely embarrassing itself. Which is fine, because at that point, it's too late to back out. Party on, Georgia.