Whitlock is talking about Kansas City right now. Where is he going to take his talents next? Grab some BBQ and plop down for a few hours.
4:25: Fuck it, we'll do it live. Right now, he's running through his whole career, including that whole "Bledsoe is gay" thing.
4:26: "How do I build a platform that allows me to continue to operate the way I want to operate in Kansas City?" I dunno. With several layers of reinforced concrete?
4:31: Whitlock's talking about his Oprah spot: "Good thing and a bad thing."
4:32: And now here's where he starts driving nails into his wrists. His Imus columns were sooo controversial!
4:35: Still reading from his resume ...
4:36: Still reading from his resume ...
4:37: "I'm going to go back now to 1999 ..."
4:38: We have our first Wire reference! Take a shot!
4:43: Whitlock makes some good points about the KC Star and newspapers' fetish for awards, and then you remember this is a guy who developed his fine moral sense and intellectual integrity in a champagne room somewhere.
4:44: "The flesh is weak. I'm just as human as anybody else." Only more so.
4:45: Wait, did I miss something about KC Star horndoggery?
4:51: Ah, so Whitlock alleges that sports editor Holly Lawton got promoted because she was doinking KC Star editor Mike Fannin. Horndoggery!
4:55: Some more complaints about editor meddling. Seriously, this is like the junior varsity version of The Insider.
5:00: Breaking news! "I've learned that Whitlock's contract with FOX will pay him a whopping $2.1 million over three years." Let's listen to him talk some more about his martyrdom in Kansas City.
5:02: Intermission! Now comes the scourging and mocking!
5:07: The Gates BBQ truck outside the station, via commenter Ad Astra:
5:10: Now he's taking back all the nice things he once said about Mike Fannin in a Big Lead interview.
5:13: "I've gotten drunk and high with Mike Fannin."
5:14: " ... the guy gets so liquored up he's kissing all over the neck of one male employee, not in a sexual way ..." Cut to commercial. And it was just starting to get good!
5:14: Mike Fannin, everyone.
5:15: Libel lawyers all across Kansas City just sat up.
5:23: Stentorian Radio Voice disclaims that the views expressed on this show don't necessarily reflect, etc. etc.
5:24: Whitlock drops the homoerotica and returns to driving nails into his wrists.
5:25: He speaks truth to power, you know. "In any healthy democracy, it's necessary."
5:27: Whitlock is James Madison, if the Sizzler were Montpelier.
5:32: "Democracy's almost already dead, Nick" — Jason Whitlock, political philosopher
5:33: Democracy, 508 BC-2010 AD.
5:40: On whether he's hurt by accusations that he's an Uncle Tom: "I think that America is a society that tells you to take a side, and the few people that don't take a side aren't understood and get criticized."
5:42: Whitlock? You're not Mike Royko. I'm sorry. We checked.
5:44: Another break. Can we talk for a moment about the last interruption, just when Whitlock was veering into "Squeeze of the Hand" territory with Mike "Hot Lips" Fannin? Lemme get this straight: So it's OK for Whitlock to throw around allegations about the venereal buccaneering of certain KC Star editors, but it's not kosher when he suggests that the male editor might've nuzzled another dude's neck? Interesting.
5:48: Are we really going to have to hear Whitlock's boring Tipper Gore routine about rap lyrics?
5:52: Are we really going to have to hear Whitlock's boring Bill Cosby routine about black youth culture?
5:55: He says smart things about incarceration rates and the drug war, but of course when it comes time to actually write something, he yammers about "bojangling" rappers.
5:57: "When you have my platform, my relevance, people wanna be me. The people that don't know me and wanna be me, they're gonna attack me. And that's fine."
5:59: "I have a different style." He keeps talking like he's working an aesthetic, when all he ever does is throw clumsy prose and studiedly controversial opinions at the page.
6:01: "We've gone from a country that had strong unions and a strong middle class and people that could move and operate without fear to a culture where everybody is scared, and they feel like honesty and integrity don't matter anymore. They don't feel like, hey, my media outlet is not acting in my best interest."
6:03: Jason Whitlock is Richard Hofstadter, if Ponderosa were Columbia University.
6:07: Now they're taking calls. (913) 744-3610. Go to it, Deadspin.
6:17: Jeff George is the special guest. Jason Whitlock, this is your life.
6:19: Jeff George is on now, everyone, and he sounds like Lou Gehrig on the mic in Yankee Stadium.
6:20: Jeff George hangs up, having said nothing of interest. He will now return his attention to whatever well he apparently fell down.
6:23: Sorry, Jason, your leaving the Star because of some intramural humping is not a symbol of the cratering of the newspaper industry.
6:31: Daulerio is calling the station. If he goes on air, and I liveblog from 20 feet away, do we all fall into a temporal wormhole?
6:36: Bla bla bla McNulty bla bla bla boat bla bla bla bla The Wire bla bla bla bla David Simon.
6:43: Former Kansas City mayor Kay Barnes, calling from the same well Jeff George fell down! Jason Whitlock, this is your life.
6:44: Daulerio informs me that he's going on.
6:45: He's crying again. This is almost sweet.
6:48: "I'm leaving newspapers, man. That's it. I've been wanting to be Mike Royko all my life. ... I feel like a sellout. I feel like I didn't accomplish what I wanted to accomplish."
6:50: Congrats, everyone. We've all just been dragged into Jason Whitlock's midlife crisis.
6:53: You know, it's to all our detriment that a guy who says so many fundamentally correct things about the media and on a basic level seems to get it winds up writing so much arrant hackery that commits all the crimes he pretends to abhor.
6:54: This was actually pretty good, if you throw out all the hemming and hawing up top where he tries to reconcile Jason Whitlock, Human, with Jason Whitlock, Professional Controversial Person.
6:56: And that's it. No Daulerio, alas.
6:59: What did we learn? Jason Whitlock is Sally Field, if leaving a paper over some intramural whoopee were like winning an Oscar. And so concludes your radio program, The Jason Whitlock Three-Hour March To Golgotha, With Spare Ribs. Hope you enjoyed it as much as I did.