Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day.
• Stephen Strasburg performs the final miracle of turning his arm into an image on an x-ray board.
• Book it: Someone will attribute Tiger's first-round performance at the Barclays to the finalization of his divorce. Because all it takes to find your swing again is some clerk somewhere sticking a couple carbon copies in a manila folder.
• Bob Ford, Philadelphia Inquirer, via KSK: "All these years, I thought GQ stood for Gentleman's Quarterly, but when the magazine came out with its exclusive, wide-ranging interview with Donovan McNabb this week, it's obvious the initials stand for Gone Qwazy." "Gone Qwazy" is the new "yard abandonment."
• The doctor who found Erica Blasberg's body says he hid her pills and suicide note to spare her family.
• Nate Silver hangs out his shingle at The New York Times.
• Introducing Praiseball Bospectus, a site that aspires to do to the sabermetrics crowd what Fire Joe Morgan did to people who said dumb things about David Eckstein. Not only is the proprietor, one "Demosthenes," conversant in sabertalk, he's also likely a fan of Ender's Game. Nerds, the calls are coming from inside the house!
H/T Billy S. for the screengrab
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