Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day.
•The Packers beat themselves, and the Bears become the NFC's only undefeated team. Jay Cutler somehow managed a gamewinning drive in which he tossed two easy interceptions, which is probably just how Lovie Smith drew it up. Hey, it worked with Grossman in 2006.
•David Price calls out Rays fans on Twitter, saying, "Had a chance to clinch a post season spot tonight with about 10,000 fans in the stands....embarrassing." Unfortunately he's new to Twitter, so he only has 11,000+ followers. Still, it was more effective, numbers-wise, than announcing it at the Trop.
•The Phillies did manage to clinch a postseason spot, and they did so in front of about 10,000 fans. Less embarrassingly, because they were in Washington, and most of them were Phillies fans anyway.
•Charlie Weis had what they're calling emergency gall bladder surgery, yet how much of an emergency could it have been if he put it off to work Sunday's game against San Francisco? Not that anyone even needs an OC to hang 30 on the Niners this year.
•The amazing, possibly true story of how an amateur collector got his hands on a ticket stub from Jackie Robinson's debut.
(Thanks to Akhil for the photo)
We're up. Try to keep your cheeks dry today.