Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day.
•Well, it took a day, but the playoff story became umpiring. Joe Maddon was ejected for arguing a checked swing. Ron Gardenhire got tossed for arguing balls and strikes. And the winning (and only) run for the Giants came after a botched safe call on a stolen base. The next logical step? ROBOT UMPIRES.
•The Blackhawks kicked off their quest to repeat as Stanley Cup champs — and almost immediately gave up those hopes, after remembering it's Marty Turco in goal now.
•Mario Lemieux christened the Penguins' new arena by pouring out a bottle of water taken from the Igloo's ice. It's the white person version of pouring out a 40 for departed homies.
•Caroline Wozniacki becomes the WTA No. 1 ranked player, unseating Serena Williams after 11 months at the top. Does this mean Wozniacki will do ESPN's Body Issue now? Please say it does.
•The Lakers just can't win in Europe, ending their mini-trip with a loss to FC Barcelona (yes, the "F" is still for futbol, even though it's basketball). Pau Gasol was 7-for-21 from the field; we should probably assume the worst and prosecute him for high treason.
(Photo via Twitter, h/t Jovan J.)
Good morning. Thanks for joining us.