This is video of a SportsCenter update from Christmas 1984. It's exceptional in every way you might imagine it to be.

There's so much to unpack here. SportsCenter ran only a half-hour back then? And it led off a programming block with the Mr. Universe contest? One has to wonder how many of the contestants from the 1984 Mr. Universe contest were still alive for the 1990 Mr. Universe contest.

Then, we are thankfully taken away from Jim Simpson and what has to be the most boring NFL highlights show of all time to: Chris Berman with a SportsCenter update. ESPN was ahead of the field in the graphics department even back then, I guess. If there's one thing a show intro should do, it's make me feel like I'm furtively copping a feel under a blanket at a drive-in theater in 1978.

But back to Berman. So cherubic! I want to pinch his apple cheeks. Give him a noogie and say, "Tell me more about the SMU and Chaminade matchup. Who cares if I have no idea how much time is left in the Sixers-Pistons game at the Silverdome! We've got all night to make things right." 1984 Chris Berman makes me want to act like 1992-2010 Chris Berman, in other words. I hope he and that research assistant behind him got to share some time under the mistletoe.

Moving along, we're treated to the greatest Michelob Light commercial of all time, and then it's back to Jim Simpson talking about hanging stockings with his children. This video is like televisual Ambien.

There's a lot more old school sports goodies on this YouTube page, check it out but try not to get lost in time. H/T Doug