Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day.
•Li'l Ron's mojo is strong, but not strong enough for the Rangers to plate a run off of Madison Bumgarner. The Giants will try to close out it tonight, when at least a Cliff Lee start will be demolished in the ratings by an actually good MNF game.
•On a night Saints fans set the record for most people in costume in one place, the team itself went disguised as a shutdown defense. And Rashard Mendenhall went disguised as a spin move.
•Steelers lost, Jets lost (and were nearly kicked out of the league for that abortion), so that leaves the Patriots atop the league at 6-1. It helped that they had an inside man in Randy Moss, who wore a Red Sox cap in his postgame interview, criticized his coaches and teammates, and literally saluted Bill Belichick. It's The Departed all over again. Moss is the rat!
•Brett Favre has his hands full with getting his face all busted up. He took 8 stitches on the chin, but says he never lost consciousness. He says he'll play next week. Of course he goddamn will.
•Jerry Jones had a rambling 20 minutes with the media after the Cowboys dropped to 1-6. He's very sorry, but it's not his fault. He might step down as GM, but he probably won't. Wade Phillips will soon be fired, unless he isn't. Jon Kitna threw for 379 yards, yet he's the worst starting QB in the league right now. You know, those sorts of things.
Hope you all had a happy and safe Halloween. Now, it gets cold.