Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day.
•Here's your athletes-in-politics roundup, because for some of you this is probably the extent of the political news you'll read. Former NFLer Jon Runyan won a House seat in New Jersey; Heath Shuler kept his; Shawn Bradley, all 7-foot-6 of him, failed in his bid for the Utah State Legislature; and Chris Dudley is in a near-dead heat for Oregon's governorship.
•It's not like the Big East has been concerned with geography before(Fort Worth is closer to Louisville than Tampa is to Storrs), so they voted unanimously for expansion and one of the teams they have their eyes on is TCU. Sounds like a win-win; TCU gets respect from voters, and the Big East gets an instant BCS Bowl candidate. And Boise State once again ends up in a conference with nobody.
•An interesting little feud is brewing between Kevin Garnett and Charlie Villanueva, with Garnett allegedly calling him a "cancer patient." Villanueva took offense, as he ought to. Aw, Charlie. That just means KG wants to hang out with you.
•Quite the home debut for John Wall. He finished with 29 points, 13 assists and 9 steals in an OT win over the Sixers. Most importantly, he taught us how to Dougie.
•The legend of Edgar Renteria grows, as we learn that he played nearly the entire postseason with a torn biceps tendon. I, for one, cannot wait for the inevitable TV movie "Edgar's Song," starring Chris Tucker and James Garner as Bruce Bochy.
It's Bagel Wednesday. Get here early before the lox spread goes.