Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day.
•If you've got a good point guard, and if you can rebound, then perhaps you too can beat the Miami Heat. Boston proved that opening night wasn't a fluke, and Paul Pierce made his own "bringing my talents to South Beach" joke. Miami is now 5-4, just a game ahead of the pace of the storied 1995-96 Charlotte Hornets. That's who they were chasing, right? [Screencap via 30fps]
•Hey, the Lakers finally lost. Carmelo Anthony scored 32, while Kobe had 35 on 11-for-32 shooting. So no more talk of 72 wins for a while. "What else are you guys going to do?" Bryant asked. "Talk about Miami all the time?" Well, yeah.
•Brett Favre says this is it, this is his last NFL season. God help me, I believe him this time. I heard the post-practice buffets in Minnesota aren't worth coming back for.
•Kyle Boller and Carrie Prejean are expecting a baby. It'll be the most homophobic third-string quarterback ever.
•ESPN sure has funny timing pulling the plug on Joe Morgan now, instead of many, many years ago. Oh well. Maybe Kornheiser can do Sunday Night Baseball.
•After mastering motocross and rally cars, Travis Pastrana will try his hand at NASCAR. As part owner of a new team, he'll run a limited schedule on the Nationwide Series next year. If he can do this with his car, I may check it out.
•Not even close to sports-related, but lookit this dude's mugshot.
Friday; almost home.