Buried in North Carolina's latest document dump on impermissible benefits to players includes former Maryland and current 49er tight end Vernon Davis giving $20 worth of stuff. That's a heck of a lot more interesting to us than Hakeem Nicks's $3,300.
UNC finally cut ties with the tutor who played the middle(wo)man for most of UNC's recent offenses. But in that release was an accounting of five players who provided improper benefits. There, at the bottom, Vernon Davis: $20.
What the hell could that be for? Davis went to school at ACC and geographic rival College Park, so we're assuming he was recruited by UNC at some point or had friends there. From the documents, we know that the gifts to players "included cash, jewelry and travel and entertainment expenses." Some guesses:
•Tickets for the player and a friend to see Kangaroo Jack on opening weekend.
•A crisp $20 bill from UNC's grandmother on his birthday.
•A nice crystal earring from Claire's at the mall that could almost look like a diamond stud if you look at it from across the room, and not too closely.
•Signed and framed photo of Matt Doherty.
•Cab fare from Chapel Hill to nearby Eli Whitney, N.C., because Davis is a history buff specializing in the Industrial Revolution.
•Three "Six Dollar Thickburgers" from Hardee's, with enough left over to go halfsies on a side of onion rings.