Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day.
•In their 33-20 win at the Meadowlands, the Cowboys played like a team glad to be rid of Wade Phillips. Or maybe Jon Kitna's highbeams helped them see the ball when the lights went out in East Rutherford. (Just to be clear, I'm less amused by the screengrab of Jon Kitna's perky erect nipples than I am by the fact a reader saw it, noticed it, found it funny, went to the trouble of grabbing the frame, and thought it'd be perfect for us. Thanks, DamnSkippy!)
•Oh, hey, speaking of coaches fired midseason, the Vikings pooped the bed in Chicago. Zygi Wilf says he won't fire Brad Childress, preferring to torture Chilly by hanging that Sword of Damocles over his head for the next seven weeks. That's always good for inspiration.
•Tom Brady apparently had a bloody sock or something, but it couldn't keep him from leading the Pats to an emphatic win over Pittsburgh. No word on his nipples.
•Boise State appears poised to pass TCU in the BCS rankings, chiefly due to Utah, TCU's big win, losing for the second week in a row. I guess this is what Bill Hancock means when he says he wants the regular season to matter.
•Here's Gus Johnson orgasming on air after the Jaguars' gamewinning hail mary.
Morning. Hope you had a refreshing weekend.