What Are You Going To Do, Charge Lindsey Vonn With Smoking?

Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day.

ESPN The Magazine is doing a "film issue" this week, featuring various athletes posing in iconic film scenes. That's Lindsey Vonn doing the no-panties thing from Basic Instinct. We're glad they didn't go with their first choice for that scene, Bobby Bowden.

•Chris Bosh played like a Bosh, pouring in 35 points in three quarters a rout of the Suns. Does this mean he doesn't have to practice anymore?

•Kevin Durant is no Michael Jordan. Agreed? But, gulp, Greg Oden is also no Sam Bowie. Bowie played 511 somewhat effective NBA games in his career. Oden's at 82.

•Tony Parker had 21 points and 7 assists to go with 1 divorce on Wednesday, as the Spurs move to 9-1 on the year.

•Tiger Woods appeared on today's Mike And Mike radio show, with some ground rules: no questions about Elin or his car accident. Tiger, it's the one interesting thing you've ever done. No one's tuning in at 7:30 a.m. to hear your platitudes on how you're happy to get back to playing bad golf.

•Stan Musial and Bill Russell are among the winners of the Presidential Medal of Freedom, sharing it with 13 other undeserving nobodies. I mean, when's the last time you saw Maya Angelou box out?

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Good morning. Let's learn about sporting things.