All Of Our Fantasy Football Teams Are Related To Us Banging In The Dining Room

For many of you, the day after Thanksgiving requires you to put on your best Gap sport coat, head out to the local beef-and-beer drink your way through a high school reunion. Sometimes, the outcomes are disastrous. Heed these warnings.

I went back for my 5 year high school reunion this summer. Saw a girl that I had hooked up with freshman year of high school but haven't seen or spoken to since graduation. Making small talk early in the night, she told me that she was in an on again off again relationship with this guy from college for a couple years. We all got drunk and I ended up banging her that night, in the family dining room of another friend's house. She got engaged a week later. All of our fantasy football team names are related to us banging and she has since defriended all of us on facebook. I haven't seen her since — Dan

(Editor's Note: I asked this young stallion for some of the names of the Fantasy Football Teams. Bad idea on my part.)

LindsayTookMyVCard (that's mine, and she did not)
Dan's Swim Team (self explanatory)
Dan *** (Her last name is ****)
Lindsay's Cooch Juice (she was straddling me before we banged and left some stains on my suit pants, which I did not notice until my boy pointed it out to me and I had to get dry cleaned)

The next day I got her number and did some cursory texting, which she kept up a bunch throughout the week, almost a little too much. When I heard about the engagement, I texted her congratulations and she responded "haha ya crazy shit".

Also, the signature on our email chain which we use daily is "Congratulations Lindsay!"

Keep up the good work.

Thanks,

Dan

Ugh.