Scenes From A Pittsburgh Restroom

Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day.

• Capitals 3, Penguins 1. [Pittsburgh Post-Gazette] [Bare-ass photo from "Your Friends at Windom Place"]

• The University of Pittsburgh, who introduced Michael Haywood in mid-December as a leader who would bring discipline to their football program, will no longer be needing Haywood's services. [Pittsburgh Post-Gazette]

• Yesterday's bowl winners: TCU, Oklahoma, Alabama, Texas Tech. [Updated: Florida, too.]

• The San Antonio Spurs are 29-4. [MySanAntonio.com]

• The Syracuse Orange are 15-0. [Syracuse.com]

• Didn't have to wait very long for the first Jose Canseco Goes Off On Twitter update of 2011. In the latest installment, Mr. Canseco appears to have taken exception to a Mr. FC Santangelo who allegedly "threatened me and my girl in the playboy mansion and security kicked him out let's get a boxing match."

• Orlando Magic Coach Stan Van Gundy is $35K lighter in the wallet for daring to question NBA referees. [Orlando Sentinel]

• Rafael Nadal leads Roger Federer 1-0 in 2011. [Daily Mail]

• And, finally, from the "Hickey's Biased" coverage files ... This one's dedicated to NBC Off The Bench's Rick Chandler. In his ultra-original "look-at-the-dumb-Philly-fans" story, based primarily on his posts from earlier in the year, he managed to:

• misspell the name of Frankford High School,
• act as if booing Snooki is improper,
• claim a middle school is in Philly despite the fact that it's 83 miles away,
• equate Philadelphia soccer-fan cursing with hooliganism by somehow thinking rowdy EPL fans would travel overseas for a promotional Man U preseason tour,
• moronically maintain that foul-ball interference in July is on par with Bartman's NLCS performance,
• and state that the guy who streaked an Obama rally in October was "a Philadelphian" when he's actually "a New Yorker."

I'll be sure to put in a good word with the people at Comcast, Rick.

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Sunday, Sunday, Sunday.