John Salley Story Corner: Spider Misses The Bus

Every week, John Salley, onetime Bad Boy and currently the arachnoid half of the Spider and the Henchman podcast, will regale us with an amusing and occasionally salacious story from his playing days. Today: an elaborate ruse to avoid being late.

I was with the Miami Heat. We were in to play the Bullets. We're way out in nowhereland (Landover, MD), and I had a pretty exciting night, if you know what I mean. I finally get rid of the broad about 4:30, and I'm thinking, "5:30 bus, I'm going to take a 45-minute nap."

I wake up at 5:45. I look out the window and I see the bus pulling away. I jump up, put my clothes on, and run downstairs. Acting like it's no big thing, I tell them I need a cab to USAir Arena. On the way, I see the bus. We're passing the bus on the highway. I bend down in the back, and these motherfuckers in the bus see me in the cab, yelling "There goes Salley in the cab!" They're pointing at me and I act like I don't see them.

I get to the arena first and I'm in the locker room. I've got my practice stuff on, like I had been shooting around. I spritz myself with some water like I've been working out. Kevin Loughery comes in and says, "what happened, Sal? We've been calling you."

I told him, "You didn't get the message? I told you I was coming over early."

He goes, "That's 150 dollars."

"What are you talking about? I been here working out — ask everybody!" I wanted to stay with this lie forever.

When the players got to the locker room, they said "God damn Salley, you're too big to bend over and hide in the back of a car. What are you trying to do?"

And it cost me $150.

The above is adapted from the "Spider Stories" segment on the Spider and the Henchman podcast. Follow John and his podcast on Twitter: @thejohnsalley and @spiderandhench. Subscribe on iTunes.